I've admitted in previous resolution recaps that I'm really struggling with this year's word of peace. With a new month, I'll admit yet again, trying to find peace is so much harder than my 2013 attempt at being more brave. And last year I got a huge tattoo on my shoulder blade that was the most painful thing I've ever experienced (I've never broken a bone though). Every month this year so far, I've set a goal to do one or more peaceful acts toward this resolution and every day of that month, I struggle to reach any sense of peace. Last night I was trying to convince myself to just give up and resort to a more typical resolution.
And to be perfectly honest, this month's peaceful act wasn't really that hard. I just don't feel overall closer to any sense of peace with anything in my life*. For the month of April I kept a gratitude journal. Every single night for the entire month, I wrote between 1 - 10 things that I was grateful for. It was a good reminder to be more positive about every day, even the crazy stressful and challenging ones. But most importantly, it seemed to help me be a little more present. I tend to worry and think too much about the future, so being able to just focus on what's happening right now in my life, has always been a challenge. My favorite entry for the month was this one on April 18th:
Tonight I'm grateful for:
1) Date nights
2) Detroit-style pizza
3) Rye whiskey
4) Water - lots of water.
5) My husband's sweet text messages on rough days.
There are still eight months left this year and I know a lot can change in a few months, so I'm trying to remain optimistic and hopeful that I can gain a little more peace with each month of peaceful intentions. For the month of May, I have decided that I need a break from social media so, aside from posting on this blog twice a week, I will be off Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. I did a week-long social media purge back in February and it was tough but rewarding, so this time I'm aiming for an entire month. I'm also considering refraining from reading any other blogs in May too, but we'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll get more house tasks done that I can share here!
*Picture me grinding my teeth while typing this and shaking my head at my ridiculousness at the same time.